looking for you

i don't know where you are or who you are i thought i had found you but the girl wasn't you.that girl broke my heart and we never even went on a date. but now I'm over it and I'm ready to start looking again i need you, i miss you my heart aches of you and yet i don't think i have ever met you. i just want someone to hold in my arms. i want someone to want to spend time with me. i want someone to miss me when I'm gone. i want someone to sing silly songs with and laugh, but i don't think i have found that yet. yes there is a girl but i don't know how this will go because i know I'm going to ask her out, i pray she says yes. yet this Thursday i will be 18 and i have never held a girls hand romantically, i have never had a first kiss, and have never been on a date. what kind of girl will want someone like that? I'm not the buff strong guy. I'm not the smart brain guy. I'm not the quick witted smooth talker. I'm Eddie what do i do best i don't know? i guess speak to large groups of people but how will that make someone want me. i mean i can't write you a song, i can't draw you a picture, i can't do anything that makes love stronger. I'm Eddie all i can do is be there that's what I'm good at being there i have been there for so many people that it doesn't feel like that will matter but at the same time i feel like that is something worth while when I'm there for someone. does this post even make sense to anyone but me i don't know? but i know people will understand this. I'm looking for someone to love and i have someone in mind but if this fails i will be glad for someone to step up and say something to me. but who would no one would because I'm Eddie. I'm Eddie and going to be a pastor. I'm Eddie and i can't show flaws. I'm Eddie and i can't let stuff bring me down. I'm Eddie and i can't sit and cry in my room because i feel lonely and want what my friends have or have had. I'm Eddie and i think that i will never find her.